Hi, my name is Zoë.

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Hi guys, sorry if you thought I was a shit friend/relative/general human being. As some of you may know, and many of you may not, we have had a challenging year. We had a baby, she was fucking beautiful, and perfect, and we were incredibly happy, everything in our life had kind of just fallen into place (Simon had just finished studying for the first time in years). Then we started to notice Zoë’s unusual behaviour. We were on holidays in Ireland, I just thought ‘this is ok’, I’m not going to be one of those parents that panics. Her 4 month check up went from ticking all but one of the boxes, to her 6 month check where I’m not sure that she reached any of her milestones. There was a shift, overnight (and no she had not yet had her 6 month vaccinations). We got on a flight, all was great- life was perfect….

When we arrived in Ireland, Zoë was different. I spent weeks making, and believing excuses (jet lag, teething, a developmental leap, different environment). When we landed back in Australia, Zoë was diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay. I will explain that more in another post, but for the moment to describe it I would say it means that she is very far behind children of her age for speech, movement, hearing, vision, feeding.

So if you have gotten a link to this blog it is because I want you to know, maybe I was always shit at contact, but I apologise for being even more shit these days. Our lives have been chaotic, I give you thumbs up on your Facebook or Instagram posts, I am so, so happy for all the fantastic stuff that is happening in your life. It’s hard to start a conversation particularly with friends overseas, I don’t know what to say…. and I know you wouldn’t either. You don’t need to say much, I just wanted to inform you and apologise for our slackness. Apologies….

For those of you that have been more aware of our circumstances, I would also like to apologise, I probably seem distant. I haven’t been in touch as much as I should, I forget to reply to messages, miss important dates like birthdays and anniversaries, & I bail out of things. Sometimes a few weeks might pass between chats or even a month, it’s not you- it’s me, it’s us, it’s life. It might be that I’m simply exhausted, one of the kids might be sick, Simon might be away, we might be doing intense therapy, we might be in hospital for more tests or I might just not be feeling up to talking- a lot of the time it’s a combination of all those things. It’s self preservation, my family is my world and I invest all my time and energy into them, if I have any of those two commodities left I will call and I will be so happy to hear your voice (if you have the time!).

I don’t want to be the friend that people avoid because they think it’s hard to talk to me. I’m still me. We can talk about regular stuff, we don’t have to have a conversation about Zoë every time. The aim of this blog is to keep you informed so that you don’t always feel we have to talk about Zoë and her issues. Also NEVER feel you can’t tell me about your
kids achievements, I want to hear about them. I notice when you avoid telling me stuff because you think it will hurt my feelings. Zoë may not be reaching milestones like your child, but we are just as proud of her (probably even more) and life may not be as straight forward as before, but believe me, our day is filled with love and happiness, don’t feel you have to hide your happiness from us, we very much want to be part of it.

Anyway this is my first blog post, I hope it explains stuff a bit. You can come here to be filled in on all things Zoë related.

Love you

xxx

4 Comments

  1. So proud of you Fi! It’s a brave and courageous step to make yourself vulnerable and express yourself on a public platform but like everything else you do, it is so well done. Zoë is so beautiful and perfect and we’re so lucky to have her in our lives.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Suzi, honestly not sure how we would have survived without your help. You have gone above and beyond, you are the most amazing Godmother and friend. So glad that you are part of our family. Love you xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You go from strength to strength Feebs. So proud of you starting this blog. I believe everything happens for a reason and as you once said to me, you got this. I cannot wait to have you all home. So much love to give and so much to catch up on! Xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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