2017 was the SHITTEST year. We went into survival mode. Things are going to be different this year though. I have no doubt we will again be faced with challenges and unforeseen obstacles, but this time we are more resilient, we have grown, we have a clearer idea of what lies ahead and, really, it kind of feels like there is nothing we can’t get through now. I have never really subscribed to the new year, new you thing, but this year is different I really wanted to firmly close the door on 2017 and start fresh. I am feeling renewed and empowered and most of all positive for this year.
Zoë will make progress. This year we will be more realistic with our expectations (whilst still aiming for the stars). Progress is all we desire, the pace of it is no longer as relevant. I have a list of goals for Zoë to achieve this year, I am determined to reach them all.
We would like to have less hospital trips. I would like less parent inflicted torture, I am done with pinning our defenceless girl down for procedures, I will do it – but I hate it. The last 2 nights Simon has had to reinsert her Nasogastric tube, and everybody in the room was in tears by the end, it just seems so cruel- but it’s also essential.
We have existed in a limbo land for the last few years. Where should we live? Our life here is really good, the services Zoë receives are awesome, financially we are much better off (and having a child with special needs is not cheap) but we have really struggled without family support. We have fantastic people in our lives that would do anything they could to help us out, but at the end of the day they all have their own lives to lead, and we don’t expect them to drop everything for us. We had a few crises last year with Zoë; Simon had to take time off work, Lara had to take time off preschool and I felt very alone in the world. There were times last year where we were more exhausted than I would ever have imagined was possible, and if we had family around we might have gotten some respite. So we have made the decision to move back to Ireland. We are apprehensive about it and know it will be a big adjustment, but also we are really looking forward being close to our families again.
For all our friends and family, we hope 2018 is a great year for you. The last few years seem to have been tough for a lot of our friends. I think we are all ready for a positive year. I for one am picking myself up, dusting myself off and starting over.